My Battle With My Skin

How's it going everybody? I've never written a blog post before so cut me some slack on this one. I just spent 10 minutes trying to come up with the right title for it. I still don't like the title but hey, the story is more important.

My battle with my skin started when I was 16 years old. I developed really bad cystic acne that only got worse because I picked at my skin. I saw several dermatologists, tried countless types of medication before finally being put on accutane when I was 17. If you don't know what accutane is, it's the most intense acne medication you can go on and it has a HUGE list of potential side affects. Doctors try to cure acne problems with other drugs besides accutane because they know how tough of a drug it is. The problem with the other drugs is that you have no idea if they'll actually work, but yet you have to wait typically 8-10 weeks to see the results, which is an eternity for a young person. With accutane, you know it will work but you have to deal with the side affects. While I was on accutane, I dealt with severe mood swings, depression, random bloody noses, dry lips and ears that were so dry that they would bleed, and just overall, it makes you feel like shit. A typical course of accutane is around 6 months. The first 3 months, you're skin gets worse as the acne below the surface is pushed to the surface. The beginning was always the roughest because accutane messes with your head. If a friend canceled plans with you, you normally would be irritated but when you're on accutane, it felt like my friend just threw away our friendship. I remember so often thinking, "they just don't want to hang with me because my skin looks so bad" which wasn't true but once again, accutane messes with your thoughts. Your emotional lows are so much greater than they were before. I've never been someone who cries a lot but when I was on accutane, I broke down a lot. The emotional side affects of the drug were by far the worst.

The next 3 months, you're skin gets better and better and better and your mood starts to improve with it. I ended my first cycle of accutane right before my freshman year of college. At that point, my confidence had never been higher. I was super excited to go to college and not deal with skin issues anymore. Life had other plans for me though. My good luck with my skin lasted a few months. Halfway through my freshman year, my skin was doing horrible again. I knew I had to go on accutane again but I didn't want to. I knew how it made me feel and I hated it but I also knew that if I didn't go back on it, I felt like my skin would never get better. At the end of my freshman year, I went back on accutane. That summer, I completely isolated myself. I rarely hung out with friends. I didn't want anyone to see my bad skin. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I had no confidence in myself. By the time my sophomore year of college started though, the accutane was kicking in and my skin was starting to look better. I was on accutane until December of my sophomore year. At the end of my second cycle, my skin was looking much better, just like it had before. My confidence was high and life was good. My good luck lasted about five months before once again, my skin took a turn for the worst. At this point, I was so beyond frustrated. I felt like I had tried everything. I was so pissed off with everything. It didn't take much for me to snap. My emotions were so all over the place.

Later in this blog post, I'll talk more about how what helped me get through all this but for now, I'll keep going on the skincare journey. The summer after my sophomore year, I finally told a friend of mine about everything I had gone through with my skin. Before this, I had never told anyone, including all of my close friends. Obviously they knew my skin wasn't great but no one knew how shitty I felt, how sad I felt, and how frustrated I felt. When I told my friend about it all, I broke down and I cried and that was the first time I cried in front of anyone besides my mom. It felt great to finally get everything off my chest. It was a huge relief. Towards the end of the summer after my sophomore year of college, I knew I needed to go on accutane a third time. I was beyond scared. It's hard to explain how much accutane messes with your head but it's terrible. I never actually planned out committing suicide but when I was on accutane, I definitely thought about committing suicide often. I could tell the drug was controlling my thoughts. I hated it so much but there was nothing I could do. The third and last time I went on accutane, I was on it with the heaviest dosage and for the longest time. I was on accutane from July to March of the following year. It was absolutely brutal. I felt terrible basically the entire time. At the same time, I was becoming more and more well known on campus because of events I was putting on during college. Social media was also becoming a bigger and bigger aspect of our lives and that gave people a keyboard to hide behind. Through social media, I've been called every name in the book. If someone had something negative to say, they usually targeted my skin. I was called a pizza face so many times I can't count. People said some pretty terrible things. Back then, there was this online forum that I can't remember the name of (they shut down) but it was a basically a way for people to post anonymously about things on their campus. Usually it was used for sororities and fraternities to talk shit about each other. The site listed topics in order of which topics received the most comments. The number one topic was "Marc Colcer" and it was a bunch of people just making up horrific things about me. I was a target because even though I was dealing with my skin issues, I was still co-managing a bar on campus, hosting concerts, putting on charity events and I co-owned a collegiate apparel line. Whenever you're trying to make a name for yourself, people are going to get jealous and I dealt with that a ton. To this day, it's still difficult for me to think about the things that were said. When you feel absolutely terrible about yourself and then people are piling on with horrible horrible comments about your appearance, it's tough to find motivation to want to live.

After the third round of accutane, my dermatologist put me on an antibiotic that I ended up on for three years. Think about that. I took a pill, twice a day, for three years, after just being on pills for four years before that. I still have no idea how this could affect me moving forward. During the time I was on this antibiotic, which was from the end of my junior year of college till my second year out of college, my skin would go through ups and downs. Sometimes it looked great and other times, it looked bad. I would also routinely go into the dermatologist for cortisone injections into my face. I received cortisone injections for the entire time I was on acne medication, so roughly 7 years. Cortisone injections basically get rid of a huge cystic pimple, but it's also expensive and doesn't help prevent those cysts from coming back.

After being on accutane for so long, my skin was beyond dry, so I started getting in-grown hairs on my jaw line. My facial hair wasn't strong enough to push through the dry skin so I would also have to go into the dermatologist to get those extracted. After multiple years of this and self realization that I was never going to be able to grow a good beard, I elected to get laser hair removal on my jaw line. Frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I felt with everything going on with my skin. Laser hair removal isn't too fun of an experience and also takes a long time to do because you have to get so many sessions in order for it to be effective. So if you've ever wondered why I don't have a beard, now you know! I guess I'll never get mistaken for Santa when I'm an old man some day.

HERE'S WHERE IT STARTS TO GET BETTER->

Once I was done with the laser hair removal process, I basically stopped going to the dermatologist and quit taking my antibiotic. At this point, nothing the dermatologist had done for me had really helped and I was tired of just being given another pill to take. This is when I started doing my own research and also, started talking with more friends about my skin. Over the past two years, here are a few of the things I've started to do that have helped a TON with my skin. My skin now looks better than it ever did after taking accutane. The list below is not in order of importance. They're all equally important to my skin care regimen.

Started drinking at least 75-100oz of water a day. Our skin is made up of around 60% water. Our bodies and our skin need water in order to hydrate themselves.
I stopped picking at my skin. Anyone with bad skin knows that it's REALLY difficult to not pick at your skin but picking only makes it worse and spreads more germs so definitely had to stop picking.
I quit eating dairy about a year ago. I'm not a dietician so I'm not going to get into the science of it but basically, dairy tastes damn good but it's not good for you at all. We all need calcium and there is a lot of calcium in dairy but the trade offs aren't worth it. I'd rather get my calcium from other food groups or from a vitamin supplement. Dairy definitely causes people to break out like crazy (and also gain weight). Think about how much cheese and milk you consume. Look at the packaging on your food. There's dairy in so many things we typically eat. I highly highly highly recommend cutting out diary. There are so many tasty dairy replacements out there. Feel free to message me for suggestions!
You have to understand your skin type. Doctors used to tell me that I had oily skin. That wasn't true at all. My skin just looked oily because all of the acne medication I had taken caused me skin to be so dry that I used to (and this isn't bullshit) put a THICK mask of cetaphil lotion on my face for like 10 minutes and then wipe away whatever excess lotion was left on the surface. I wish I had photos of this because it looked hilarious but it was the only thing that made my skin feel semi normal. Around two years ago, I stopped using cetaphil because while it may be "dermatologist recommended", that doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I started using this new lotion but when it said only use a pea sized amount, I was like how am I going to spread this little amount on my whole face? As I did more research, I saw that people kept recommending jojoba oil & vitamin c for super dry skin. So now, I apply a layer of vitamin c (that contains jojoba oil) serum to my face before applying the lotion. The vitamin c serum helps that pea sized amount of lotion spread across your face evenly afterwards. I do this every morning after showering and at night after washing my face. The vitamin c serum I use can be purchased here and the lotion I use can be purchased here. The lotion is expensive but hey, the benefit is worth it. Also, if you set up a subscription so that you get it monthly, it's cheaper. To wash my face at night, I use chemical peels. They're expensive but VERY worth it. You can purchase those here. Cleaning your skin before you go to bed every night is so important. Don't go to bed with makeup on your skin or a dirty face. Sleep is so important for you. Let your body recover with a clean face. If you have any questions about these products, definitely feel free to ask!
I stopped drinking pop/soda. Rarely, I'll have it in a mixed drink but other than that, I don't drink it.
I started taking a multi vitamin to make sure my body was getting the necessary vitamins that I need. You can purchase the multi vitamins I get here. Make sure you select men's or women's if you purchase those vitamins! I also started taking omega 3 fish oil. I take 1 of the multivitamins and two of the fish oil pills after eating my first meal every day. You can purchase the omega 3 fish oil supplements here.
When I shower, I use a daily facial cleanser. You can purchase that here. Just getting your face wet doesn't actually clean your skin. You need to actually cleanse your face. I get in the shower, shampoo, conditioner, and then wash my face with the cleanser and then clean the rest of my body.
Proper sleep. I try to get 8 hours of sleep every day but at least 7 hours. Sleep is incredibly important for your body to recover properly. If you're interested in learning more about sleep, purchase this book here. It's super interesting.
I also change my pillow cases every night. This sounds super extra but think about it. Through the course of a night, so much gets left on your pillow case from products in your hair, to drool, sweat and so much more. Pillow cases are full of germs. I purchased 10 sets of pillow cases and I just put on new pillow cases every night, even when I travel. This really does help a ton.
I also did a lot of research into sunscreen. The type of sunscreen you use is incredibly important and it's also very important to make sure you're using sunscreen whenever you're outside and the UV index is over 3 (which you can see in your iPhone weather app). The sunscreen I use you can purchase here.
Lastly, every day I take 10 mg of CBD oil. CBD oil is a great anti-inflammatory. It may or may not be legal in your state but soon, it'll be legal in every state. CBD oil does NOT get you high at all. I don't feel anything at all when I take it but it definitely helps with my skin.

As you can probably tell, I'm super picky now about what I put into my body and what I apply to my face. I've done extensive research into my body and my face (and I recommend you do the same) and this is what I've determined works for me. I highly recommend trying out these products yourself to see if they work for you and NO, I'm not being paid to recommend any of these products. The most important thing is to continue telling yourself that it will get better because it will. It may take time to figure out what works for you but you will figure it out. Come up with a routine that works for you and stick with it. Once you have your routine, don't keep adding random things into it. Stay consistent, even it may be annoying at times (especially when you travel).

During the entire time that I've dealt with my skin issues, I've found a few other things that have helped me out.

Working out.
As you've read, I was very very frustrated throughout this entire process. The gym became my way of releasing steam. I may not have been able to control how my skin looked during that time but I was able to control how my body looked. I put a lot of time into the gym. I took pride in how my body looked. When people said terrible things about me, the gym was my way of fighting back. I workout 6-7 days a week for 45 minutes a day.
Reading
Reading helped me to take my mind elsewhere. Books became my escape when I needed it most.
Focusing on your career goals
When I was the absolute most frustrated with my skin, my career goals kept me pushing forward. I tried to control the things I could control and my career aspirations were something I could control. I focused on doing well in school, networking as much as possible and seeking out new opportunities for growth. In college, I co-managed a bar, worked for muscle milk doing campus promotions, co-owned a collegiate apparel line, worked for knockaround sunglasses, managed two music artists, did the marketing for my apartment complex and a local gym and hosted charity events and concerts.
Remembering that it will get better
Even when you don't think it will, keep reminding yourself that it will. Remind yourself that people love you, regardless of what your skin looks like and that you have people there for you. Talk to people. It gets easier as you talk about it more and more. I never thought I'd see the day that I'd be this open about my skin struggles but I'm damn glad I'm doing it. It feels great to continue to get the weight off your chest and to potentially help others. Don't cope with drugs or alcohol. Neither of those is going to help the problem. Don't allow yourself to go down that path. Surround yourself with positive energy and positive people. Which brings me to my next point -->
Rid your life of drama
Stress definitely causes acne so I try to reduce my stress load as much as possible. Bad friendships or bad relationships? Not anymore. I love being happy and I love having positive people around me so if someone is adding drama into my life, SEE YA LATER. You're going to give me acne and I'm not dealing with that. Cleansing your face and your life at the same time. That's a win-win.

I'm not saying all of this because I'm looking for anyone's pity. I'm telling my story because I know there's someone else out there going through the same things that I went through and I want to help them. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. I really really appreciate you taking the time to read this. It means a ton to me.

Thank you and love you,

Marc Colcer